This 2-Minute Monday Personal Injury Healthcare Mindset is controlling yourself to control a negotiation and win.
Don’t Absorb it, Observe it – The Art of Communication Control
Have you ever walked away from a negotiation or a communication with someone – whether an email or a conversation, like someone just threw up all over you? I certainly have.
I was listening to Jefferson Fisher, a PI attorney, and I love his podcast and book and highly recommend them all. Jefferson calls this out perfectly: It’s absorbing, not observing.
You see, you can approach communications like an out-of-body experience:
Hear the words, but observe the meaning, intent and where it’s all going.
When you can do this, you stop reacting, and you start directing.
When someone is then communicating with you ask yourself things like:
Why are they saying this?
What do they really mean?
What’s likely coming next?
Now, you aren’t just hearing words. You’re reading intentions.
You’ve stepped outside of the storm, the attack, the frustration or the confusion … and into the calm.
It’s like an out-of-body experience, watching the scene unfold and not getting trapped inside it.
Here’s my personal twist on this all.
Emotions require regulation, like the thermostat in your house.
At home, you want homeostasis … that stable equilibrium so you are comfortable.
How? You turn the dial on the thermostat.
It’s the same when negotiating or communicating. That dial is on yourself.
Dial it for comfort so you make good decisions, not emotional ones.
That’s exactly what observing instead of absorbing emotions and communications means.
When you observe, you gain control.
You control “if” you respond, that’s your analytical control.
You control “how” you respond, that’s your content control.
You control “when” you respond, that’s your pacing control.
So the next time negotiations or communication levels rise, remember this: Don’t A-bsorb the heat. O-bserve the energy. And you’ll lead your negotiations and your communications with calm, clarity and control
