Focus on the GOOD You Did, Not What YOU Did Good
I’ve had 7 children, 6 of them boys.
Here’s a stat I found interesting:
90% of parents say one of their top priorities is that their children be caring.
But when you ask children what their parents want for them, 81% say their parents value achievement the most.
That had me thinking about the messaging I had done with my kids growing up.
I would ask them, just as my dad asked me growing up:
Did you get an A?
Did you win?
My and my own dad’s focus was on achievement
My kids victories were MY victories.
Without me realizing it, consciously or unconsciously,
if they didn’t get the A or the win
… my messaging caused my kids to whispering to themselves:
“I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH”
I don’t think we realize the impact of our messaging.
I certainly didn’t for a long time.
But what if I shifted my messaging?
What if, instead of asking my kids did you get an A? or did you win?
I instead asked:
What did you teach to someone else today?
Who did you help today?
I would have shifted the focus away from their perfection …
Away from disappointing me or themselves …
to a focus on empowerment, service and caring.
Here’s why the right messaging also matters:
evidence suggests that children who help others end up achieving more, have more supportive relationships, less depression, and earn more.
Isn’t that what we want for them?
And did you get that: Generous people even earn more!
If we simply shift our messaging from “What I did good for myself”
to “what good I did today for someone else”,
we will lift our children and improve their life.
And this isn’t just for our children.
We need to shift our messaging with EVERYONE we touch.
Our teams and even ourselves.
Let’s raise our children, everyone around us, and even ourselves.
Let’s shift our messaging so that the high water mark is
… “what GOOD you did today”
… rather than “what YOU did good”?
And I’ll see you at the next 2MMM
