This 2-Minute Monday Mindset is about when we need to let others have the spotlight.
Stop the One-Upsmanship!
It’s natural to do right! Who did the best? Who got the promotion? Who can say the funniest thing? Whatever it is, realize when you engage in one-upsmanship, you are competing with them and deflating their accomplishment.
Sure, they will keep a smile on their face, but when you on-up another, you stole their thunder and YOU went down in THEIR eyes.
If with our best friend, okay, it’s not a competition because we just do that back and forth. But with others, we likely went too far.
You see, one-upsmanship dismisses other people. Even when innocently done, it overshadows that other person’s accomplishment. Consciously or subconsciously, we are seeking to shine the light on ourselves, not them.
One-upsmanship is often based on insecurity. And when we do this, we usually suck as listeners. Because while someone is sharing, we are thinking about OUR story to tell, yet we will often still find it hard to stop from one-upping someone else.
And don’t get sucked into the one-upsmanship, now competing for who was best. Let it go. Move on. That just may not be the person to share with.
If you DO want to STOP someone who is engaging in one-upsmanship, say something like: “I wasn’t trying to compete with you, my apologies.” They will realize what they just did if unaware, and if aware you were actually kind in pointing it out when you could’ve slammed them.
So what do you do if YOU find yourself one-upping someone else and realize your mistake? Simply ask the other person questions about what they just accomplished. The questions shows you care. The questions shows you heard.
And watch them smile as you ask those questions, as you turned the spotlight back towards them. NOW, because you did that, they will be far more open and receptive if you do share your own story. Now it’s a peer to peer rather than a competitive clash.
Stop the one-upsmanship, ask questions to highlight them, and allow others to have the spotlight they deserve.
And I’ll see YOU at the next 2MMM!
